Monday, April 29, 2013
We talk a lot as a society about "getting out of your comfort zone". But what does that really mean? Is is something magical or scary, or just a fancy way of describing something that we all experience at some point?
In the past two years, I've been through some pretty drastic career changes. I've gone from being a full-time classroom teacher, to a part-time tutor, to a tutor/barista, and currently to working full-time in the insurance industry (while still tutoring roughly 8-10 hours a week). In some ways, I've gotten out of my so-called comfort zone. I find myself in an industry that I never would have seen myself in five years ago. I'm having to learn a whole new set of terminology, to say nothing of learning how to navigate within the corporate world. On the other hand, I've also settled into a position that is a great deal more stable than the ups and downs of retail and entrepreneurship. Furthermore, it's far more predictable than walking into a middle-school classroom.
It's funny how getting out of my comfort zone by seeking employment outside of my field has led to more stability...and, therefore, to more comfort. I'm not sure how this coincides with people whose idea of "getting out of your comfort zone" is, say, climbing Mount Everest, but it seems to be working for me by keeping me content without being complacent.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Conversation Starter
Recently, my skinned knees acted as a conversation starter.
The injury was from a combination of tripping and falling onto a sidewalk (while running)and rock climbing. A great combination if you ever want knees like a five-year-old.
I was at jury duty, and I'd thought that my skirt covered my knees, or at least the scabby parts. (That's what happens when you dress in a hurry and haven't made sure you had a clean pair of dressy pants ready to go.)
As it turns out, the interaction was positive, as my fellow jury duty attendee was the father of a girl on the national rock climbing team. It was great to find out a little bit about her experiences before he and I were called back into the courtroom.
It got me thinking about how a few years ago, I would have been slightly embarrassed about having skinned knees. I probably would have covered them up with a metric ton of Hello Kitty Band-Aids or something. (Ironically, this would have looked even more ridiculous.) But I've learned to let go of a lot of little imperfections. Most people are too hung up on their own (minor) flaws to really bother with anyone else's
It also got me thinking about how I've opened up more to new experiences in the past few years. Ten years ago, I wouldn't have seen myself running more than a mile, climbing a rock wall, organizing a skydiving trip, or doing half the crazy stuff they have us doing in CG. I still have a long way to go. I realize this. But every once in awhile, it's nice to see how far I've come...not just in terms of experience, but also in attitude and my overall outlook on life.
I also wouldn't have felt nearly as comfortable chatting with a stranger as I did that day. It was a good reminder that simple little things can make for interesting (if brief) interactions.
(By the way, I just read Bear Grylls' autobiography, and he writes in really short paragraphs. I think it's temporarily affected my writing style. I kind of like it, though. It keeps the rambling and stream-of-consciousness type stuff in check.)
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Balancing Act
I read something on a yoga blog this evening addressing the issue of self-help vs. self-acceptance. The blogger, contemplating the preponderance of self-help books and materials on the market, posed the question: "Where's the line between self-acceptance and wanting to be a better person?" She went on to suggest that we balance "acceptance with striving".
While the entry focused primarily on applying this concept to yoga, I think it has obvious implications for other areas of life. Let's start with another fitness area: running. Most runners have that drive to run faster, or longer, or to conquer some steep hill or crazy trail. But perhaps that has to be balanced out with acceptance of one's limits on any given day, be they physical, mental, etc. Same goes for strength training, cycling, or pretty much anything along those lines. Easier said than done in our super-competitive society, I know.
There are spiritual applications here as well. If you're a Christian, or come from a Christian background, you want to be the best person you can be. You want to be Christlike, even if sometimes you get rubbed the wrong way by Christianity as an institution. You want to have some sort of relationship with the Creator of the Universe. (This is, of course, true about many people who wouldn't necessarily categorize themselves as "religious".) At the same time, and counterbalancing this drive, is the need to accept yourself as you have been created, especially the things about yourself and your circumstances that you can't really change. (A bit "serenity prayer", I know, but it still makes sense.)
Doubtless there are applications to other faiths as well. Buddhism comes to mind, with its goal of enlightenment balanced with self-compassion. (If you're Buddhist, and I've botched that, please correct me.) I also can't help but think of science -- the constant striving to understand the universe in quantifiable terms, tempered with the realization that there's vast amounts of knowledge we have yet to acquire, and may never acquire. I mention science in this same paragraph deliberately: I don't believe that science and faith are mutually exclusive. But that's a whole other post, and I've twofer'ed tonight as it is.
While the entry focused primarily on applying this concept to yoga, I think it has obvious implications for other areas of life. Let's start with another fitness area: running. Most runners have that drive to run faster, or longer, or to conquer some steep hill or crazy trail. But perhaps that has to be balanced out with acceptance of one's limits on any given day, be they physical, mental, etc. Same goes for strength training, cycling, or pretty much anything along those lines. Easier said than done in our super-competitive society, I know.
There are spiritual applications here as well. If you're a Christian, or come from a Christian background, you want to be the best person you can be. You want to be Christlike, even if sometimes you get rubbed the wrong way by Christianity as an institution. You want to have some sort of relationship with the Creator of the Universe. (This is, of course, true about many people who wouldn't necessarily categorize themselves as "religious".) At the same time, and counterbalancing this drive, is the need to accept yourself as you have been created, especially the things about yourself and your circumstances that you can't really change. (A bit "serenity prayer", I know, but it still makes sense.)
Doubtless there are applications to other faiths as well. Buddhism comes to mind, with its goal of enlightenment balanced with self-compassion. (If you're Buddhist, and I've botched that, please correct me.) I also can't help but think of science -- the constant striving to understand the universe in quantifiable terms, tempered with the realization that there's vast amounts of knowledge we have yet to acquire, and may never acquire. I mention science in this same paragraph deliberately: I don't believe that science and faith are mutually exclusive. But that's a whole other post, and I've twofer'ed tonight as it is.
Goal Re-Visitation Time Again
Goal: Try to look my age: Specifically, try to dress less like a teenager and more like an adult.
Progress: These days, I usually run around in workout-type clothing. I guess that's not very age-specific.
Goal: Run at least one 5K in 2012.
Progress: I just ran the Firefly 5K last weekend. I was happy to have finished in under 30 minutes. I plan to do Run For Cover on April 14th.
New Running Goals: Run a 10K by late summer/early fall. If all goes fantastically well, run the White Rock Half Marathon on December 2nd. (This last one may be a bit crazy.)
Goal: At least once a month, participate in some sort of community outreach.
Progress: Hard to say. The 5Ks raise awareness of, and help raise money for, various causes. But I suspect that I could do more.
Goal: At least once a month, go on a date or do a MeetUp.
Progress: Um...
Goal: GET A JOB.
Progress: Tutoring and interviewing and networking...oh, my!
Goal: Gain weight
Progress: Not really worried about it since I'm not losing weight and I'm definitely getting stronger. When I first started CG, I was working with 5-lb dumbbells. Less than 2 months later, I'm up to 10s. I can also do a reasonably good set of push-ups on my toes. Now I must conquer the chin-up!
Progress: These days, I usually run around in workout-type clothing. I guess that's not very age-specific.
Goal: Run at least one 5K in 2012.
Progress: I just ran the Firefly 5K last weekend. I was happy to have finished in under 30 minutes. I plan to do Run For Cover on April 14th.
New Running Goals: Run a 10K by late summer/early fall. If all goes fantastically well, run the White Rock Half Marathon on December 2nd. (This last one may be a bit crazy.)
Goal: At least once a month, participate in some sort of community outreach.
Progress: Hard to say. The 5Ks raise awareness of, and help raise money for, various causes. But I suspect that I could do more.
Goal: At least once a month, go on a date or do a MeetUp.
Progress: Um...
Goal: GET A JOB.
Progress: Tutoring and interviewing and networking...oh, my!
Goal: Gain weight
Progress: Not really worried about it since I'm not losing weight and I'm definitely getting stronger. When I first started CG, I was working with 5-lb dumbbells. Less than 2 months later, I'm up to 10s. I can also do a reasonably good set of push-ups on my toes. Now I must conquer the chin-up!
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Beyond Kony
Remember when I said I was going to focus on fitness and geek stuff from here on out? I guess I sort of lied.
By now, you've probably all seen the Kony 2012 video that has gone viral on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media. (If not, you should be able to check it out by clicking on the link above, or doing a YouTube search.) The video makes a pretty powerful case for insisting, as a global community, on the arrest of notorious Ugandan war criminal Joseph Kony -- a man responsible for kidnapping tens of thousands of children, forcing them to fight in his army, and otherwise abusing them. The Kony 2012 movement also proposes a bold approach: make Kony famous through posters, social media, and other means...not to celebrate him, but to bring awareness and attention to his crimes.
I first encountered this video yesterday afternoon, and I must admit, I found it compelling. Since that time, I've noticed several of my Facebook friends re-posting it to their timelines. Conversely, I've read criticisms of the campaign and of its parent NGO, Invisible Children: that it is less than scrupulous with its funds, that it exaggerates statistics of child soldiers, that Joseph Kony is no longer even in Uganda, that the Ugandan government itself is corrupt, etc. The criticisms naturally give one pause, especially in light of the somewhat recent scandal surrounding Greg Mortenson .
As I mulled this all over this morning, it occurred to me that, at this point, I really have no definitive way of knowing whether or not the Kony 2012 thing is legit. I suspect it may be, based on some of the personal testimonies I've heard, particularly from people I know who've done mission work in Uganda. Also, I think if the campaign does prove successful, it would really demonstrate how the global community can come together to effect real change.
But let's say, for argument's sake, that the whole thing is bogus or misguided, or that 2013 rolls around with nary a Kony in site. What, then, is the takeaway?
First, let's look at the creativity of the campaign. Social and print media -- often used to celebrate people for being rich, good-looking, or simply "irritaining" -- is essentially being turned on its head here, used instead to bring attention to a man whom, until about a week ago, most people hadn't even heard of. Featuring "villains" on magazine covers isn't new, but often we've heard of those people. What I see here is great and unusual potential to highlight other lesser-known causes and issues, both international and domestic.
Then there's the video itself. Step back from the statistics and even the possible "propaganda" involved, and a greater truth emerges: watching this, you realized there are bigger issues that yourself out there. Things like flat tires, sinus headaches, and the dog chewing up your favorite pair of sunglasses seem trivial in comparison. You become truly humbled by all that there is to do in the world. If you're like me, you're reminded of the old story about the man throwing starfish into the ocean. You know you can't save them all, but you want to make a difference to at least one.
Kony 2012 may be a huge success that results in the capture and arrest of an international baddie. It may be a spectacular failure. Or it may be a trendy, celebrity-studded cause that people forget about two years from now. (Yes, I know that sounds cynical, but think about some other causes that have come and gone from public awareness.) Ultimately, however, we live in an age in which technology can connect and unite people like never before, and I have to believe that, ultimately, a great deal of good can come from that.
By now, you've probably all seen the Kony 2012 video that has gone viral on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media. (If not, you should be able to check it out by clicking on the link above, or doing a YouTube search.) The video makes a pretty powerful case for insisting, as a global community, on the arrest of notorious Ugandan war criminal Joseph Kony -- a man responsible for kidnapping tens of thousands of children, forcing them to fight in his army, and otherwise abusing them. The Kony 2012 movement also proposes a bold approach: make Kony famous through posters, social media, and other means...not to celebrate him, but to bring awareness and attention to his crimes.
I first encountered this video yesterday afternoon, and I must admit, I found it compelling. Since that time, I've noticed several of my Facebook friends re-posting it to their timelines. Conversely, I've read criticisms of the campaign and of its parent NGO, Invisible Children: that it is less than scrupulous with its funds, that it exaggerates statistics of child soldiers, that Joseph Kony is no longer even in Uganda, that the Ugandan government itself is corrupt, etc. The criticisms naturally give one pause, especially in light of the somewhat recent scandal surrounding Greg Mortenson .
As I mulled this all over this morning, it occurred to me that, at this point, I really have no definitive way of knowing whether or not the Kony 2012 thing is legit. I suspect it may be, based on some of the personal testimonies I've heard, particularly from people I know who've done mission work in Uganda. Also, I think if the campaign does prove successful, it would really demonstrate how the global community can come together to effect real change.
But let's say, for argument's sake, that the whole thing is bogus or misguided, or that 2013 rolls around with nary a Kony in site. What, then, is the takeaway?
First, let's look at the creativity of the campaign. Social and print media -- often used to celebrate people for being rich, good-looking, or simply "irritaining" -- is essentially being turned on its head here, used instead to bring attention to a man whom, until about a week ago, most people hadn't even heard of. Featuring "villains" on magazine covers isn't new, but often we've heard of those people. What I see here is great and unusual potential to highlight other lesser-known causes and issues, both international and domestic.
Then there's the video itself. Step back from the statistics and even the possible "propaganda" involved, and a greater truth emerges: watching this, you realized there are bigger issues that yourself out there. Things like flat tires, sinus headaches, and the dog chewing up your favorite pair of sunglasses seem trivial in comparison. You become truly humbled by all that there is to do in the world. If you're like me, you're reminded of the old story about the man throwing starfish into the ocean. You know you can't save them all, but you want to make a difference to at least one.
Kony 2012 may be a huge success that results in the capture and arrest of an international baddie. It may be a spectacular failure. Or it may be a trendy, celebrity-studded cause that people forget about two years from now. (Yes, I know that sounds cynical, but think about some other causes that have come and gone from public awareness.) Ultimately, however, we live in an age in which technology can connect and unite people like never before, and I have to believe that, ultimately, a great deal of good can come from that.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Fitgeek!
If you've kept up with this long enough, you know that I keep changing the focus of this blog.
Hey, guess what? This is another one of those changes.
Recently, I've begun working out with REAL consistency. I've been doing the Couch to 5K program and Camp Gladiator for a few weeks now. (If I was fancy, those would show up as hyperlinks, but I forget how to do that.) I can't outrun all the zombies or punch all the werewolves in the face....yet...but I feel better than I have in I-don't-know-how-long.
A little bit of backstory here: I've never been an athlete, thought of myself as being athletic, or been thought of as being athletic. In fact, I was teased pretty badly as a kid for not being good at kickball, soccer, softball, tetherball...you get the idea. (I was pretty good at dodgeball, because, frankly, it made sense: if a foreign object is flying at you at top speed, YOU GET OUT OF THE WAY.) P.E. was not a good time, except for on rainy days when we watched After School Specials. (There was also that great equalizer, square dancing. Even the coolest kids couldn't make THAT look cool.)
By the time I was a teenager, I was apathetic towards fitness and sports and the like. I bought into that whole adolescent clique-y mentality, even while insisting that I hated cliques. The "jocks" didn't like me. I didn't like them. It seems stupid now, but it was what it was.
What changed? I don't really know for sure. I tried "working out" at different points in my 20s, but I never really felt like I knew what I was doing, or that there was a real point to all, and I didn't have the peer motivation that I have now. Maybe that's what changed. I got older, and all those stupid little differences that seem so important when you're fifteen just don't matter when you're thirty. I met people who had changed themselves for the better, for whom being in shape was a part of that change. And some of those people had my same geeky interests.
Which leads me to my new blog focus: I've realized that I can be physically fit AND still be my unique, quirky self. I don't have to buy into stereotypes about "nerds" and "jocks". That seems like such an obvious statement to make, but really,when you think about it, those stereotypes can be powerful things.
So you'll probably see a lot more of me fusing health/fitness stuff with other things that I geek out on (Simpsons, zombies, books, music, books, movies...did I mention books?) Hopefully, the consequences will be amusing (at least to me). BTW: I'm open to suggestions regarding new health foods, workouts, etc. to try. Could make for some good blogging.
Hey, guess what? This is another one of those changes.
Recently, I've begun working out with REAL consistency. I've been doing the Couch to 5K program and Camp Gladiator for a few weeks now. (If I was fancy, those would show up as hyperlinks, but I forget how to do that.) I can't outrun all the zombies or punch all the werewolves in the face....yet...but I feel better than I have in I-don't-know-how-long.
A little bit of backstory here: I've never been an athlete, thought of myself as being athletic, or been thought of as being athletic. In fact, I was teased pretty badly as a kid for not being good at kickball, soccer, softball, tetherball...you get the idea. (I was pretty good at dodgeball, because, frankly, it made sense: if a foreign object is flying at you at top speed, YOU GET OUT OF THE WAY.) P.E. was not a good time, except for on rainy days when we watched After School Specials. (There was also that great equalizer, square dancing. Even the coolest kids couldn't make THAT look cool.)
By the time I was a teenager, I was apathetic towards fitness and sports and the like. I bought into that whole adolescent clique-y mentality, even while insisting that I hated cliques. The "jocks" didn't like me. I didn't like them. It seems stupid now, but it was what it was.
What changed? I don't really know for sure. I tried "working out" at different points in my 20s, but I never really felt like I knew what I was doing, or that there was a real point to all, and I didn't have the peer motivation that I have now. Maybe that's what changed. I got older, and all those stupid little differences that seem so important when you're fifteen just don't matter when you're thirty. I met people who had changed themselves for the better, for whom being in shape was a part of that change. And some of those people had my same geeky interests.
Which leads me to my new blog focus: I've realized that I can be physically fit AND still be my unique, quirky self. I don't have to buy into stereotypes about "nerds" and "jocks". That seems like such an obvious statement to make, but really,when you think about it, those stereotypes can be powerful things.
So you'll probably see a lot more of me fusing health/fitness stuff with other things that I geek out on (Simpsons, zombies, books, music, books, movies...did I mention books?) Hopefully, the consequences will be amusing (at least to me). BTW: I'm open to suggestions regarding new health foods, workouts, etc. to try. Could make for some good blogging.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Running Reasons: A Partial List from a Beginning "Runner"
1. Stress reduction
2. Better sleep
3. Improved overall mood
4. Cardiovascular health
5. Increased awareness of what I eat and how I otherwise treat my body
6. Realistic, concrete goal-setting
7. Competition against self ("personal best") as opposed to others
8. Can be done while listening to music
9. No gym membership or special equipment required (other than shoes)
10. More time spent outdoors
11. Potential for new friendships
12. Self-confidence boost
13. Possible redemption from unathletic youth and dropping out of cross country
2. Better sleep
3. Improved overall mood
4. Cardiovascular health
5. Increased awareness of what I eat and how I otherwise treat my body
6. Realistic, concrete goal-setting
7. Competition against self ("personal best") as opposed to others
8. Can be done while listening to music
9. No gym membership or special equipment required (other than shoes)
10. More time spent outdoors
11. Potential for new friendships
12. Self-confidence boost
13. Possible redemption from unathletic youth and dropping out of cross country
No! Drama!
A lot of people say they're "not into drama". You see this a lot on dating sites and what have you. It sounds nice, doesn't it? No drama...no worries....freedom from the messiness that is human conflict and emotion.
But is it realistic?
The more I think about it, the more I think, not so much.
Maybe "drama" is like the common cold. No one likes laying around, sneezing and coughing and watching daytime TV while in a Sudafed fog. And there are certainly things we can do to avoid the frequency and intensity with which we get sick. (Everyone else washes their hands after using the loo, right?) But sooner or later, everyone gets a cold, if only once in a snotty green moon.
I can't help but think that drama is like that. You can do things to avoid getting involved in frequent (and unnecessary) drama. You can steer clear of self-proclaimed drama queens (and kings), practice active listening and positive thinking, not sweat the small stuff, etc.
But sooner or later, even if you strategically avoid drama, it's gonna find you.
Sooo....I think the focus needs to be, not "no drama", but how you deal with drama. Do you fuel the emotional fire? Throw a spaz on social media? Or do you step back, refocus, reframe, and determine how to deal with the situation from there?
The same can be said, I think, for "baggage". We all have baggage. We all have issues. The question is, what are you doing to deal with, live with, or rid yourself of what holds you back or weighs you down?
P.S. -- This is as much a note to self, if not more so, as it is to anyone else reading this.
But is it realistic?
The more I think about it, the more I think, not so much.
Maybe "drama" is like the common cold. No one likes laying around, sneezing and coughing and watching daytime TV while in a Sudafed fog. And there are certainly things we can do to avoid the frequency and intensity with which we get sick. (Everyone else washes their hands after using the loo, right?) But sooner or later, everyone gets a cold, if only once in a snotty green moon.
I can't help but think that drama is like that. You can do things to avoid getting involved in frequent (and unnecessary) drama. You can steer clear of self-proclaimed drama queens (and kings), practice active listening and positive thinking, not sweat the small stuff, etc.
But sooner or later, even if you strategically avoid drama, it's gonna find you.
Sooo....I think the focus needs to be, not "no drama", but how you deal with drama. Do you fuel the emotional fire? Throw a spaz on social media? Or do you step back, refocus, reframe, and determine how to deal with the situation from there?
The same can be said, I think, for "baggage". We all have baggage. We all have issues. The question is, what are you doing to deal with, live with, or rid yourself of what holds you back or weighs you down?
P.S. -- This is as much a note to self, if not more so, as it is to anyone else reading this.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Goals Update and Unicorns
Okay, just kidding about the unicorns. I just wanted my title to look less boring.
Goal: Try to look my age: Specifically, try to dress less like a teenager and more like an adult.
Progress: Doing somewhat well, thanks to the Christmas gift of heeled boots.
Goal: Run at least one 5K in 2012.
Progress: I'm currently on Week 3 of the Couch to 5K program. So far, I'm really enjoying it. It's gradual yet challenging. Yesterday I walked/ran 4K in about half an hour. Also, I've talked at least one other person into running the Firefly 5K with me at the end of March. If I stick with my current regimen, I should be able to run the whole thing in a respectable amount of time. On the days I don't run, I try to work on some simple strength training (side plank, crunches, push-ups, yoga). I have to keep it simple since I lack strength, and I won't end up sticking with anything that's too complicated.
Goal: At least once a month, participate in some sort of community outreach.
Progress: Not yet met for January. : /
Goal: At least once a month, go on a date or do a MeetUp.
Progress: I attended a fantastic MeetUp last night (DFW Words and Wine). We discussed The Night Circus, which is really an amazing book if you're into fantasy or magical realism.
Goal: GET A JOB.
Progress: Still searching and shooting out ye olde resume...
Goal: Gain 12 more pounds over the course of the next year so I can give blood.
Progress: Will discuss with my doctor once I get health insurance again. In the meantime, will focus on maintaining 100 lbs. (Please don't tell me you wish you had my problem, or that if you were me you'd eat cheeseburgers all day, etc.) Will also focus on eating more healthy food and less crap, and drinking more water.
Goal: Try to look my age: Specifically, try to dress less like a teenager and more like an adult.
Progress: Doing somewhat well, thanks to the Christmas gift of heeled boots.
Goal: Run at least one 5K in 2012.
Progress: I'm currently on Week 3 of the Couch to 5K program. So far, I'm really enjoying it. It's gradual yet challenging. Yesterday I walked/ran 4K in about half an hour. Also, I've talked at least one other person into running the Firefly 5K with me at the end of March. If I stick with my current regimen, I should be able to run the whole thing in a respectable amount of time. On the days I don't run, I try to work on some simple strength training (side plank, crunches, push-ups, yoga). I have to keep it simple since I lack strength, and I won't end up sticking with anything that's too complicated.
Goal: At least once a month, participate in some sort of community outreach.
Progress: Not yet met for January. : /
Goal: At least once a month, go on a date or do a MeetUp.
Progress: I attended a fantastic MeetUp last night (DFW Words and Wine). We discussed The Night Circus, which is really an amazing book if you're into fantasy or magical realism.
Goal: GET A JOB.
Progress: Still searching and shooting out ye olde resume...
Goal: Gain 12 more pounds over the course of the next year so I can give blood.
Progress: Will discuss with my doctor once I get health insurance again. In the meantime, will focus on maintaining 100 lbs. (Please don't tell me you wish you had my problem, or that if you were me you'd eat cheeseburgers all day, etc.) Will also focus on eating more healthy food and less crap, and drinking more water.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Retro-Blog 2007
I wrote this four years ago:
Now is the time to love you beyond the lined spaces and into the margins. I do this for days that marginalize us. Today I will pour out my love until your cup runneth over. Later you will need this to quench your thirst. Hold on to these leftovers; I will not have you begging for scraps. I love you richly today to prepare us for a lean and mean tomorrow. My love causes walls to tumble, boundaries to crumble. It throws everything off balance, off kilter, out of orbit, and out of whack.
I don't know if I still believe in any of this. I'm not even sure to whom, if anyone, I was writing. Just more questions I get to live...
Retro-Blog: Chile 2009: The Bulleted List
· Jumbo – The Chilean Target
· Casuelo de invierno – chicken soup with rice, corn, potato, cilantro, carrots
· Once -- Chilean dinner – usually a light meal (bread, meat, cheese ,fruit, tea)
· Lemon soda
· Juliana and Michel, the Colombian couple who took us in
· Sofia, their adorable 1 ½ year old daughter
· Different meanings of the word taco: traffic jam, food (obviously), heel of a shoe, notepad/Post-Its
· “When I think of Texas, I think of religion and guns.”
· Riding the acensor in Valparaiso and feeling like a character in The Motorcycle Diaries
· Ocean Pacific, a submarine-themed restaurant
· VIkingos, a Viking-themed restaurant where they light your soup on fire
Monday, November 28, 2011
2012 Goals
I figured for this upcoming year I'd focus on setting tangible goals, rather than abstract or vaguely formed "resolutions" that I may or may not keep. Here are a few that I've come up with so far (and yes, I'm open to suggestions):
1. Try to look my age: Specifically, try to dress less like a teenager and more like an adult. Maybe rock heels a little more often. (Might as well take advantage of the fact that I'm short.) Also, make more of an effort when it comes to wearing eye makeup.
2. Run at least one 5K in 2012. Even if it's just the Turkey Trot. Currently, I can do a little over 2 miles on a treadmill, so this seems like a realistic goal. I'm also determined to do at least a few yoga poses and crunches on a daily or near-daily basis.
3. At least once a month, participate in some sort of community outreach.
4. At least once a month, go on a date or do a MeetUp. (This would be an attempt to broaden my horizons, since I can be cautious to a fault.)
5. GET A JOB.
6. Gain 12 more pounds over the course of the next year so I can give blood. Do so in a HEALTHY manner.
1. Try to look my age: Specifically, try to dress less like a teenager and more like an adult. Maybe rock heels a little more often. (Might as well take advantage of the fact that I'm short.) Also, make more of an effort when it comes to wearing eye makeup.
2. Run at least one 5K in 2012. Even if it's just the Turkey Trot. Currently, I can do a little over 2 miles on a treadmill, so this seems like a realistic goal. I'm also determined to do at least a few yoga poses and crunches on a daily or near-daily basis.
3. At least once a month, participate in some sort of community outreach.
4. At least once a month, go on a date or do a MeetUp. (This would be an attempt to broaden my horizons, since I can be cautious to a fault.)
5. GET A JOB.
6. Gain 12 more pounds over the course of the next year so I can give blood. Do so in a HEALTHY manner.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Life or Something Like It
What defines a life? Is it the sum of one's experiences, the quality of one's relationships, or something in between? As an introvert, I've never thought of myself as a people person. But when I look back on my life so far, I realize it hasn't been so much about what I've done as who I've done it with. I think we forget that sometimes as a species. We want to quantify things. We set goals and make bucket lists, we convince ourselves that if we can just accomplish ABC, then we'll be happy, or that we need to do x or visit y before we die. But what about the small town citizen who doesn't make it out of her home state, or win a Nobel Peace Prize, but has a supportive and close knit circle of family and friends? Assuming that person is happy, even through sheer willpower, can you really say that such a person never lived because she never stood in Times Square? I wouldn't.
Please understand that, in no way am I knocking experiences. I'm incredibly grateful, for example, that I have had the opportunity that I've had to travel abroad and see certain bands live. Even some of the more painful stuff I've been through has been beneficial in terms of helping me to appreciate what I still have and increasing my reliance on the Creator.
I guess one of the questions that I'm currently living is, at what point do you say no to a new experience, no matter how appealing it may seem? I'm not talking so much about choosing not to experience, say, cocaine, but more gray area stuff...experiences that might bring you a sense of ephemeral happiness but at the expense of existing relationships? Where does one draw the line?
Please understand that, in no way am I knocking experiences. I'm incredibly grateful, for example, that I have had the opportunity that I've had to travel abroad and see certain bands live. Even some of the more painful stuff I've been through has been beneficial in terms of helping me to appreciate what I still have and increasing my reliance on the Creator.
I guess one of the questions that I'm currently living is, at what point do you say no to a new experience, no matter how appealing it may seem? I'm not talking so much about choosing not to experience, say, cocaine, but more gray area stuff...experiences that might bring you a sense of ephemeral happiness but at the expense of existing relationships? Where does one draw the line?
Friday, July 15, 2011
Fiction/Nonfiction
Fiction is escapism. We watch movies and read works of fiction to relieve boredom, or to experience something happier or sadder than our own experience. We allow ourselves to get lost in fantasies or borderline realities, if only for a little while.
Nonfiction is escapism. We insulate ourselves with knowledge and factoids. We long to be part of something bigger than ourselves. And, let’s face it: it’s hard to pity ourselves for our first world problems when we discover how much worse off others in the world (or in history) actually are (or were).
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Funny Girl?
I wish I could write funny stuff. Not just amusing stuff, not just a snappy one-liner, but the kind of short story/essay/novel that makes you ell oh ell. I don't get it. I'm a pretty funny person in real life. I hang out with a lot of funny people. Most of the movies and TV shows I like are comedies. My choice of reading material is a little more varied -- I can read a sad book much more easily than I can watch a sad movie -- so maybe that's the reason for the discrepency.
I guess the main thing at this point is that I keep writing. I have my laptop back after a brief hiatus, so that should make things a little bit easier. Not sure if I'll publish anything ever or not. My main focus at the moment is to actually finish something other than a blog entry.
I guess the main thing at this point is that I keep writing. I have my laptop back after a brief hiatus, so that should make things a little bit easier. Not sure if I'll publish anything ever or not. My main focus at the moment is to actually finish something other than a blog entry.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Grappling With Forgiveness
I'm currently dealing with some issues pertaining to forgiveness in my personal life. This has led me to Scripture and prayer, and also to living my way through some tough questions. I know, for example, that Christians are commanded to forgive. If we forgive much we will be forgiven much, and if we forgive little we will be forgiven little. But let's say you're in the process of forgiving someone. They've hurt you, however unintentionally, in several different ways, and you find yourself, in your human frailty, only capable of forgiving one thing at a time. I want to believe that this is a decent start, that it's better than not forgiving at all. But is that how God will reward such forgiveness? If I only forgive gradually, will God only forgive me gradually? Or does God's greatness exceed that?
I'm also living through the question of reconciliation. If the offender is a brother in Christ, am I morally obligated to reinstate the friendship once all issues of forgiveness have been dealt with? Or should I merely just wish such a person well and move on with my life? If the person has apologized for something specific, should I let them know that I've forgiven them? Or does that just seem holier-than-thou?
I'm also living through the question of reconciliation. If the offender is a brother in Christ, am I morally obligated to reinstate the friendship once all issues of forgiveness have been dealt with? Or should I merely just wish such a person well and move on with my life? If the person has apologized for something specific, should I let them know that I've forgiven them? Or does that just seem holier-than-thou?
Monday, July 11, 2011
And So It Ends
With sadness on my end. With possible indifference on yours. With me wishing I could take everything back, yet fearing what else I may be capable of saying. Knowing this is best for you. Hoping it's best for me. Knowing I will live through it, but wanting to sleep until I get to that point. Weary of your unkindness, of my unkindness, of man's inhumanity to man, of the cruel cliche that is hurting the ones we claim to love.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Dreamstuff
Yesterday, my friend Delmar reminded me of a pretty disturbing dream that I had back in college. I dreamed that I was at church, taking Communion, but olive juice was substituted for the usual grape. Even stranger, there were strippers in the dream. As agnostic as I felt in college, it was pretty creepy stuff.
I shared this bizarre dream with a handful of friends and relatives the next morning, and arrived at a few possible interpretations. Among them: that it was allegorical of hypocrisy within the church; that it represented my own guilt over my lack of faith; that it was a reminder that Jesus himself hung out with tax gatherers and sinners; that I ate some bad pizza that night.
I don't usually remember my dreams, but here, for your consideration, are a couple of other strange ones that I've had:
1. Right after my mom died, I dreamed that I heard a hissing noise coming from the bathroom. I looked under the sink to discover that the pipes were leaking water. Suddenly, the pipes jumped out from under the sink (I don't know how else to describe it) and started writhing like possessed snakes, spraying water everywhere. I ran screaming into the living room, where my mom was asleep on the couch. Then I remember she was dead...and she vanished before my eyes...and I woke up.
2. I had a nightmare last summer that two people I cared about very deeply were planning to commit suicide. Everyone knew somehow, but I was the only one who cared. The two people were busy during most of the dream tying up loose ends -- making phone calls, giving away personal possessions - -as casually as one might go about performing daily errands. One of them fastened a necklace around my neck at one point, causing me to scream in the dream, but not in real life.
I've always wondered if dreams always have a purpose, if they're always meant to be interpreted. If so, does it take a special spiritual gift (like Joseph had) or earthly knowledge (like Freud had)? Are some dreams from God, and others from the Enemy? Or is it all just a bunch of randomly firing neurons and subconscious shenanigans?
I shared this bizarre dream with a handful of friends and relatives the next morning, and arrived at a few possible interpretations. Among them: that it was allegorical of hypocrisy within the church; that it represented my own guilt over my lack of faith; that it was a reminder that Jesus himself hung out with tax gatherers and sinners; that I ate some bad pizza that night.
I don't usually remember my dreams, but here, for your consideration, are a couple of other strange ones that I've had:
1. Right after my mom died, I dreamed that I heard a hissing noise coming from the bathroom. I looked under the sink to discover that the pipes were leaking water. Suddenly, the pipes jumped out from under the sink (I don't know how else to describe it) and started writhing like possessed snakes, spraying water everywhere. I ran screaming into the living room, where my mom was asleep on the couch. Then I remember she was dead...and she vanished before my eyes...and I woke up.
2. I had a nightmare last summer that two people I cared about very deeply were planning to commit suicide. Everyone knew somehow, but I was the only one who cared. The two people were busy during most of the dream tying up loose ends -- making phone calls, giving away personal possessions - -as casually as one might go about performing daily errands. One of them fastened a necklace around my neck at one point, causing me to scream in the dream, but not in real life.
I've always wondered if dreams always have a purpose, if they're always meant to be interpreted. If so, does it take a special spiritual gift (like Joseph had) or earthly knowledge (like Freud had)? Are some dreams from God, and others from the Enemy? Or is it all just a bunch of randomly firing neurons and subconscious shenanigans?
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Fictional Character
His name is John Lennon Smith. Lenny to his friends. He was born the day that Lennon was shot, and, consequently, is somewhat obsessed with celebrity obituaries. Strange things happen to him when famous people die.
The author who is in the painstakingly slow process of creating him is female, around the same age as he would be, and wondering what is prompting her to write from the male perspective. Does she think it will be simpler? Less messy, perhaps? Her girl friends keep assuring her that men are simple creatures, but her experiences with them have taught her differently. Men can have layers...dark, hidden, sometimes frightening layers that mirror a darkness that she herself usually tries to outrun.
That's one theory, anyway, but perhaps our aspiring author needs to write about certain things with a healthy amount of fictional distance. Nothing too traumatic, mind you, but things that require handling with care.
Will our hero, Mr. Smith, whose surname begs to be changed, ever see life in print (or a free or cheaply self-published e-book)? Time will tell...
The author who is in the painstakingly slow process of creating him is female, around the same age as he would be, and wondering what is prompting her to write from the male perspective. Does she think it will be simpler? Less messy, perhaps? Her girl friends keep assuring her that men are simple creatures, but her experiences with them have taught her differently. Men can have layers...dark, hidden, sometimes frightening layers that mirror a darkness that she herself usually tries to outrun.
That's one theory, anyway, but perhaps our aspiring author needs to write about certain things with a healthy amount of fictional distance. Nothing too traumatic, mind you, but things that require handling with care.
Will our hero, Mr. Smith, whose surname begs to be changed, ever see life in print (or a free or cheaply self-published e-book)? Time will tell...
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Fear of Writing #2
Sometimes I get fearful of saying the One Wrong Thing, like some sort of unforgiveable sin of writing. I have no idea what that Thing is. I only know that, if and when I say it, everyone I care about will run scurrying away from me like cockroaches escaping a harsh and unflattering light. See, that's already a pretty bad metaphor...
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